What to Ask Before You Choose a Funeral Home
Most families choose a funeral home the same way. Someone dies, someone Googles the nearest option, and a decision gets made in about four minutes under conditions that make clear thinking almost impossible. I've been in that position more than once. And the questions I didn't know to ask the first time, or the second, are what this post is about.
There's a federal consumer protection law called the FTC Funeral Rule that gives families specific rights when arranging a funeral. Most people have never heard of it. Knowing it exists before you walk into a funeral home changes what you ask, what you accept, and sometimes how much you spend. Below is a checklist of the most important things to know, followed by the full detail on each one.
The short version, if you want to skip ahead:
Know your rights first
General Price List: Ask for it before anything else. Federal law requires them to give it to you.
Phone pricing: You can ask for prices over the phone without giving your name.
Itemized vs. packages: You do not have to accept a package. You can buy services individually.
Pricing and fees
Basic services fee: Typically runs between $1,000 and $3,500, regardless of what else you choose.
Multiple quotes: Prices vary significantly, even in the same city. Get at least two or three before you decide.
Written statement: Ask for an itemized statement before you pay, not after.
Burial vs. cremation
Know the difference: Cost, timeline, and what each decision closes off are worth understanding before you're in the room.
Embalming: Not required by law in any state. Ask about refrigeration as an alternative.
Outside casket: If you buy one somewhere else, they cannot refuse it or charge you a fee to use it.
The home itself
Ownership: Ask whether the home is locally owned or part of a national chain. It may not be obvious.
Reputation: Check reviews, ask for referrals, and check with your local Funeral Consumers Alliance for any complaints.
Facility: Visit in person. Confirm the space fits your expected gathering and is accessible for elderly or mobility-limited guests.
Services and logistics
In-house vs. subcontracted: Ask what they handle themselves and what they farm out.
Process documentation: Ask for a written explanation of the full process, from removal to service.
Notifications: Ask whether they handle death certificates, obituaries, and agency notifications.
Livestreaming: Ask whether they offer remote viewing for family members who can't travel.
Staff
Point of contact: Ask who handles your arrangements and whether they stay with you through the whole process.
Experience: Ask about credentials, licensing, and familiarity with your specific type of service.
Finances and insurance
Life insurance: Ask whether they work directly with your insurance company.
Financial assistance: Ask whether they can help identify lower-cost options if needed.
After the service
Aftercare: Ask whether they offer grief support, follow-up calls, or community resources once the service is over.
Know your rights going in
The FTC's Funeral Rule gives you the right to buy only the arrangements you want, to select goods and services individually, and to decline any package that includes items you don't need. FTC Consumer Advice Most people have never heard of it, which means most people don't use it.
You can ask for prices over the phone, and the funeral director is required to give them to you without asking for your name, address, or phone number first. Funeral Consumers Alliance That matters, because it means you can comparison shop before you ever walk through a door.
When you do visit, the funeral home is required to hand you a General Price List, a written itemized document listing every service they offer and what each one costs. That list is yours to keep. FTC Consumer Advice If they don't offer it, ask for it directly.
Pricing and fees
Ask for the General Price List immediately. Ask whether the casket price list and outer burial container price list are included, or whether they're separate documents. After you decide what you want, ask for a written itemized statement before you pay, showing exactly what you're buying and the cost of each item. FTC Consumer Advice
Ask about the basic services fee. It can range from about $1,000 to $3,500 and covers overhead and professional services, including the initial response, consultation on arrangements, and coordination with the cemetery or church. Funeral Advantage That fee applies regardless of what else you choose, so it's worth knowing upfront.
Get quotes from more than one place. Prices vary more than most people expect, even within the same area. I'm not a lawyer or financial advisor, and nothing here is legal or financial guidance. These are just questions worth having answered before you're sitting across from someone making decisions you can't easily undo.
Burial vs. cremation
This is often the first real decision a family faces, and it's one worth thinking through before you're in the arrangement room, not during it.
Traditional burial typically involves embalming, a casket, a graveside service, and an ongoing cemetery plot. It's what most people picture, and in many families it's what's expected. It also tends to be the more expensive option, with total costs commonly ranging from $7,000 to $12,000 or more depending on the choices made. Cremation has become increasingly common and is generally less expensive, though the range is wide. Direct cremation, where the body is cremated shortly after death with no formal service beforehand, is the most affordable option. A more traditional cremation with a viewing or service costs more, but usually still less than full burial.
A few things worth knowing: no state law requires routine embalming for every death, and in most cases refrigeration is an acceptable alternative. Funeral Consumers Alliance Some funeral homes also offer aquamation, known as water cremation or alkaline hydrolysis, which uses water and alkaline solutions to reduce the body, with lower carbon emissions than flame cremation. If that option matters to your family, confirm availability before you commit to a home. SendOff
The harder question isn't always cost. It's whether your family has alignment on what the person who died would have wanted, and whether religious, cultural, or personal preferences narrow the options. That conversation is easier to have before a death than the morning after one.
The home itself
Ask whether the funeral home is locally owned and independent. In many cases chain ownership isn't obvious because the appearance, name, and personnel remain the same after an acquisition. Funeral Advantage That's not automatically a problem, but it's worth knowing before you assume you're working with a family-run operation.
Ask how long the home has been in business and how long the key people on staff have been there. Check online reviews. Ask friends or family members who've been through it in your area. Your local Funeral Consumers Alliance chapter can also tell you whether any complaints have been filed against homes you're considering. Funeral Consumers Alliance
Visit if you can. Walk the space. Is it clean and well-maintained? Is it large enough for the gathering you're expecting? Ask about accessibility, including ramps, elevators, and restrooms for guests with mobility needs, and whether a reception space is available on the same premises. Camino del Sol
Services and logistics
Ask whether services are handled by in-house staff or whether the funeral home uses outside providers. If some services are subcontracted, costs may be higher than the base price suggests. Funeral Advantage
Ask for a documented explanation of the full process: who removes the body, where it goes, what paperwork is involved, and what the timeline looks like from death to service. SendOff Knowing this in advance reduces the number of calls you'll be making during the worst part of the week.
Ask whether they can accommodate your religious or cultural preferences. Ask whether they handle obituaries, death certificates, and notifications to agencies like the Social Security Administration or Veterans Affairs. Ask whether they offer livestreaming or recording for family members who can't travel. Scanlanfuneral
Staff
Ask who your primary point of contact will be, and whether that same person stays with you from the arrangement conversation through the day of the service. Ask about credentials and licensing. Ask whether they have experience with the specific type of service you need, whether that's military honors, a specific religious tradition, or something else.
Finances and insurance
Ask whether the funeral home will work directly with your life insurance company. Ask whether they can help identify financial assistance options if the family needs them. If you purchase a casket or urn somewhere else, the funeral home cannot refuse to use it or charge a handling fee, and they cannot require you to be present when it's delivered. FTC Consumer Advice
After the service
Ask whether the funeral home has an aftercare program. Some have grief counselors on staff, do follow-up calls in the weeks after the death, or host support groups at the facility. Camino del Sol The relationship doesn't have to end at the graveside, and with some homes, it doesn't.
One more thing. If your family hasn't talked about any of this yet, that conversation is easier to have before something happens than after. The questions above don't require a crisis to be useful. They're just good things to know.
That's part of why I started Leo.
